So ladies, my guess is, it’s about time for a no-nonsense, get-smart approach to relationships and the dreaded V-Day. There are 365 days in a year, and a lifetime to live. Whether we are college-educated or high school dropouts, blue-collar workers or high-end spinsters, we are more often than not, quite adept at making life-determining decisions; capable of meeting the challenges of life head on. However when it comes to matters of the heart, the brain seems to take leave of our bodies. I mean seriously we are stumped, bowled and as in a game of football, sacked. We vacillate, we obfuscate (I mean the clearest, solvable relationship dilemmas). How then do explain the serious self-inflicted punishments we giddily heap on ourselves, one bad relationship after the other. Gut-wrenching, tear-filled, heart-aching, hyper-ventilating heart-breaks, that we swear time and time again won’t ever happen to us.
If truth be told we usually know when something is right and we near damn well know when it isn’t. The signs are there, however in our desperation for “love,” we ignore them, often to our peril. Let’s examine the obvious and most immediate. When you around, the cell is always off and how come the home phone never rings, (maybe it’s unplugged). If it rings…he doesn’t take the call. And how about the when he’s away. Does it take several calls to find him? Is it usual that he has to call you back or calls you several minutes or hours later? Dates and hang-time are far and few between. And, have you been introduced to the “boys?” Have you been invited to the crib?
Well my dears, you may want to pay attention. What better time to wise-up and avoid an inconvenient bust-up? As Valentines Day approaches, don’t be caught silly, get smart. Don’t get yourself in a tizzy, get busy.
Here are a few tips to survive this “unnecessary societal symbol of love.”
The obvious would be to say ignore the day. But with the media what it is and with the commercial vehicle in serious over-drive, how can you escape this obvious collision course?
The next best thing is to embrace the day as YOUR day. If narcissistic behavior is to be embraced the time is now. I mean indulge in some serious self-love, ignore everyone. I mean love yourself to pieces.
- Remember that the day is too much of a societal symbol
- Be confident and self-assured, you don’t need outside validation
Make two resolutions at the start of the New Year. Along with the usual, (you know lose weight, stop smoking, be friendlier; yatty, yatty, yatty,) how about a few more personal goals?
Focus, Focus, Focus, on you!
Write yourself little notes to remind yourself of all the niceties of which you are deserving. You may want to keep them in a “love box,” or journal. Pull one out each day. You may be surprised by the pleasure and empowerment you get from a little self-indulgence
Make the bedroom a love-nest with all the things you like; scented candles, mood music, your favorite movie, a good book, rose-petals, chocolate, a glass of wine, and tell yourself, “I deserve all this!”
For those with the need for a more intense, passionate experience, there are those personal gadgets that meet and satisfy those urgent and sometimes pressing needs…a little guilty pleasure makes for a great release.
For those who are more communal;
Get together with all your single friends for a drink. Share your love and friendship with gifts and treats for each other
Remember love is universal-in short it’s not just a man/woman thing. Designate that day as family love-fest day. Make it an annual ritual (dinners, trips, etc.), anything that works.
And if it is in your soul to enjoy the day with a special someone, prepare, prepare, prepare. First order of business, (gut check time), stay away from bad relationships. Stop ignoring the warning signs.
And lastly refuse to share. That will guarantee that the one you are with will be around for all your February 14s.